i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We need a shit load of segways right now
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
