Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
