The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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