Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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