if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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