Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
