Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
