idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish my penis had an off switch
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
