I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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