let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
