A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
