Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
