I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
