A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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