There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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