when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
