I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
