My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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