Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
