matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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