She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
