you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
