And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
