Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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