Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
