He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
