Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I checked into jail on foursquare
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
