we're chasing vodka with high fives
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
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