you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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