i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so let's talk penis.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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