what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
