Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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