apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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