Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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