Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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