from now on my penis is your penis
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
