R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
