a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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