Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
