the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
