I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
