I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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