yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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