I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
