i permit you to call me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
