i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
