I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
