I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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