I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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