I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
