I wannas sexs uuuuu
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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