Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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