We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
