Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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