I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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