If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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