you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
