I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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