Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize