is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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