So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
