Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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