I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
