a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
