i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
