Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
